Log in

No account? Create an account
michigancutters' Journal [entries|friends|calendar]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[21 Dec 2005|01:18am]

[ mood | anxious ]

Hey, this will be quick (or i'll try..lol) I'm new here, but i will probably be out if this doesn't work...

traverse city, anyone?Collapse )

post comment

[16 Dec 2005|02:14am]

Read more...Collapse )
post comment

[29 Jun 2005|11:44pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

Hi, everybody. I just joined. My name is Leslie, I'm 17 (turning 18 on August 3), and I live in St. Charles, MI. It's a little shithole outside of Saginaw. I am depressed. I have panic/anxiety disorder. It's said that I may be a possible borderline personality, but, I don't know. I've been self-injuring for about 7 years now.  I cut, overdose, bruise, scratch, and sometimes burn. I am TRYING to lessen up/quit though. I am in therapy. I've had a stay in a mental hospital. I've attempted suicide numerous times. I've been in the hospital a couple times because of said attempts...and other times I should have been. I'm not suicidal at this point though. I've been on lots of different meds, but, I am not on any meds now. Well, I have my Xanax, but I never take it anymore, even if I need it. I start attending classes at Baker College in Owosso this coming September. Uhm...I don't really know what else to say. I guess I'm here to meet new people. You can add me if you want...I'll add you back.

((Behind the cut: Here's some pictures of me...they're old though. Sorry. I'll try to put up new ones soon. And also here is a short little thing to get to know me a bit.))

Read more...Collapse )

1 comment|post comment

two nights ago [28 Jun 2005|05:45pm]

[ mood | lonely ]

i was really bad. thinking about things. really out of my head. i was searching through my purse to find the blades that i had stolen from the workshop, and i forgot i left them at home so when i was staying at my friends they wouldn't find them or ask why i had them.

i guess in a way it was a good thing, cause i went to the beach. how i would explain those would have been a bitch.

but i'll be going home tomorrow i wonder if i will still feel the same cause everyone has been keeping me smiles. but i know the pain is still lingering in the bad of my head..

1 comment|post comment

i hate fighting w/ myself.. [24 Jun 2005|01:26am]

[ mood | confused ]

It's been a month and a half... I'm craving... I'm craving so bad... the last two days i've turned to alcohol and it was nasty so i poured it out... and now all i wanna do is cut... i wanna be strong I do... But I'm craving sooooo bad. Ugh... I don't know what do. I just feel like I NEED, i HAVE to bleed.

2 comments|post comment

[17 Jun 2005|03:57pm]

[ mood | blah ]

Hey, I'm new here. I don't live in Michigan anymore...... *tears* But I go there often to see my best friend or to go to the hotel my mom works at.

I love Michigan more than anything in the world. And if I can't be part of the community because I now live in Ohio then tell me. I might think you are a little itch but oh well.

So I was just wondering where everyone is from in Michigan? I used to live in Taylor and Allen Park.
That's it for my first post. Later

4 comments|post comment

New here [08 Jun 2005|10:42am]

[ mood | content ]

hey im new to this community and I have been cutting for about 7 years. Still trying to stop need some support if anyone can help it would make me feel better. add me if you like.

have a nice day

2 comments|post comment

wonderful [01 Jun 2005|01:54am]

I just got this:
KRISTONIOUS (1:22:23 AM): to add to what i was saying before you blocked me: i'm telling you that your stupid... not making fun of you... cutting yourself is by far the stupidest thing that anyone can fucking do... your just fucking lazy... you don't want to take things the hard way you just want to end it... or maybe you just want attention... probably just the attention thing because your still living...

and this: your basically worthless and in all honesty... i believe in Darwinism-- meaning suvival of the fittest... also meaning that you are not strong so with you killing yourself your just helping my life be happier... don't say that you have had it hard because you don't fuckign know what hard is

People like this need to be shot.

/end rant
4 comments|post comment

happy ending [05 May 2005|03:13am]

Well I was on my 9th day of not cutting.
and then my ex logged online.

now i have roughly a dozen cuts on my left arm and im craving to just tear into my body.

no one is online

so i cant talk.

why am i so weak?
2 comments|post comment

Hi [08 Mar 2005|04:49pm]

[ mood | bored ]

Hello, I'm new. 20/M/Saginaw. My name's Nathan. I'm pretty much "recovered", but you never know what the future will hold, if you catch my drift. Anyhow mainly I'm just trying to meet new people, and if anyone wants to talk (about cutting, or most anything else) feel free to IM me at LordAbortion451 on AIM.

Pics of me:
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

1 comment|post comment

[05 Dec 2004|09:15pm]

is anyone here from or around the bay city/linwood/pinconning area??
1 comment|post comment

[25 Oct 2004|09:44am]

[ mood | aggravated ]

These tears I'm holding back start to break out. My eyes burn, my muscles and flesh are feeling rather twisted and I'm physically sick from the things I'm thinking. And so, to make progress and to get somewhere, I need to feel a bit of finality. The cuts sting, and its terribly hard to go thru with it, but there seems no other alternative. I would taste the blood if my senses would allow me, but this pain is nearly enough because I believe it will heal. I lie here as this crimson dries but my insides remain twisted. Something must break thru this nothing, reach my bloody hands out but there is no magic in these pills. The ability to forget what I want to forget and to move on gently to the emptiness ahead. If I'm still here in the morning, I've got to wash this and I've got to try to forget. Just act normal and I've got to evade their notice because things might change if they really understood. If I can build my false self this way and maintain this facade, you can only make yourself on the outside, tho you cannot fix the inner. The outside mocks the inside and you haven't slept in days, the tears that finally come sting so badly, your stomach feels so acidic and the toilet is your only friend. The sharpened piece of metal and its effects and the bottle marked "LETHAL" and the empty sleep ahead, it all sounds so cliche, but what doesn't these days? You've listened to that song on repeat for hours on end and if you keep pulling like that, its only going to hurt later. Won't you please try to forget this because you really need a rest from your own games that you like to play with yourself. Isn't this such a lovely thing? I cannot wait until I have vanished and have forgotten it isn't that hard to forget things for a minute. Maybe instead to advance, you could bury yourself in that book or this album or maybe even that one movie. Pure escapism may prove useful for more reasons to need to escape, and if you keep doing this, it'll never end, no matter how you think it might. Perhaps I could find another and make them feel this pure pain I am sure I could produce, and make them end and let them suffer. But it couldn't be, you are far too selfish and the pain must stay here, within me. This pain makes your mouth water and your senses heighten and you've never felt better than with your face soaked in bile or your arms laced with scars and a certain medicational oblivion exclusive to those like me.

2 comments|post comment

[05 Jul 2004|12:38am]

[ mood | artistic ]


Um, well, I just joined so I figure I'll tell ya about myself. Obviously, i'm from michigan. Always have been. I'm 15 years old, live in Davison, and go to high school. I've been cutting for three years. I have scars on my arms and legs. Some minor...others huge and raised. I'm in therapy and on meds 100mg of zoloft and 500mg of depakote. their gonna raise the depakote to 1500. Uh, i dunno. I've attempted suicide seriously, twice. First time i went into convusions and crap. Second time i threw up all over. Very messy. lol. ^_^

2 comments|post comment

tada [29 Jun 2004|08:00pm]

[ mood | blank ]

I cut again... (triggering words)
HATECollapse )

1 comment|post comment

[19 Jun 2004|10:24pm]
my fucking hillbilly neighboors are setting off goddamn fireworks at the moment.so i cant concentrate. i just moved to huron, and now im in a lovely town filled with farm...as far as the eye can see..i can see it now, at lunch they'll all be feasting on barely, cow meat and such.

sorry for the graphic language.cutting has been under control..somewhat..ive been trying that whole 'rubber band on the wrist' fiasco, it works..a little.ah, sorry for my useles rant, im in 'farm country' and if i have to listen to one more firework go off i'll be provoked to run over there and do....something...i dont know what..but it sounded threatening up until this point.anyone wanna text? levae your cell phone numbers, one and all ,PLEASE!!
-kan (aka kandace)
1 comment|post comment

do you have scars? [14 Jun 2004|02:34pm]

[ mood | artistic ]

Hi I'm currently working on a photo project that centers around my personal struggle with self harm and am seeking a model who has scars from self harming, preferably on their arms. No identifying features need to be shown in these photos, its your choice.

Here are some photos that are the beginning of this body of work.




Contact me for further details.


9 comments|post comment

Hello? [27 May 2004|02:44pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

Hi, I'm a cutter, from mich, who just joined this site. I guess i just wanted to say hello. I live in GR for the summer, and go to school at WMU. My journal is open, feel free to stop by.

4 comments|post comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]